Dear Your Majesty the Queen,
I need to speak to you urgently about my brother Luke. He's got cancer and the doctors in Australia are being really slack. If I could borrow your top doctor for a few days I know he/she would fix things up in no time. Of course Mum and Dad would pay his/her fares even if it meant selling the car or getting a loan. Please contact me at the above address urgently.
PS: This is not a hoax. Ring the above number and Aunty Iris will tell you. Hang up if a man answers.
If you want something done properly, Colin reckons, go straight to the top!
After all, if the Queen can't help, who can?
Morris Gleitzman grew up in England and came to Australia when he was 16. He was a frozen chicken thawer, sugar mill rolling stock unhooker, fashion industry trainee, student, department store Santa, TV producer, newspaper columnist and freelance screen-writer. Then in 1985 he wrote a novel for young people. Now he's a children's author.